


It's Magic

by bassukulele19



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Amortentia, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Marauders' Era, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-19
Updated: 2014-10-19
Packaged: 2018-02-21 13:03:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,217
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2469173
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bassukulele19/pseuds/bassukulele19
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>To young Remus Lupin, Amortentia smelled like old library books, chocolate, and Lily Evans.</p>
            </blockquote>





	It's Magic

To young Remus Lupin, Amortentia smelled like old library books, chocolate, and Lily Evans. This came as a suprise to him, so much that when Professor Slughorn gently lifted the lid of the cauldron he had placed in the middle of the dungeon, Remus turned in wonder, only to realize with a sinking feeling that Lily was sitting on the opposite side of the classroom, right next to James Potter, one of his best friends and Lily’s most relentless suitor. Well this is bloody brilliant, he thought, more drama was just what he needed in his life. He quickly shook his head to clear his thoughts and decided that he was being ridiculous, he was NOT in love with Lily Evans. Nevertheless, for the rest of the lesson he couldn’t shake off the nagging feeling that what he had smelled hadn’t been a mistake, but exactly what he feared was the loveliest scent in the world, wildflowers and honey, in other words, his Muggle-born red-haired friend. Remus was an intellectual, his usual solution to mind or heart dilemmas was to ponder on the problem until it either seemed too insignificant to bother with, or he just found a way to work things out. This particular situation, though, was needing a serious amount of thinking, so the consequences were just as frightening as the process, for Remus was so distracted that he ended up with three quills up his nose, a (full) ink bottle on his trousers and Peter's dinner on his Transfiguration book all in one day.  
"What's up, Moony?" asked Sirius in a concerned voice, and then in an undertone "bad moon rising?"  
"No, Padfoot, just a bit tired, I think I'll go finish some homework and then go to bed, 'night mates!" He glanced at James rather guiltily and made his way to the Gryffindor common room. This was going to be harder than he thought. 

Lily brewing one of her perfect potions, Lily brushing off James's stupid attempts to win her over, Lily giggling with her friends, Remus just couldn't stop staring. She was so graceful, tactful and beautiful in everything she did, but not for a second did anyone ever think that she was some delicate little flower, he was sure that she was the strongest young woman he knew. One night, he sat across from her at dinner, and it took all that he had to not reach over and grab her hand, pulling her away from everyone else and into his lonely and secret world. It's funny, he thought, how sometimes a kind word, a gentle smile, is all it takes to completely change someone's life. Hogsmede weekends came and went, and every time the young werewolf spent the day with a knotted stomach, for all the butterflies he felt when he was near her were killed as soon as he remembered himself, the full moons and his friendship with James. He wouldn't do that to him, he just couldn't, and he was so lucky to even have friends in the first place, he thought, and even to count Lily among them. No, he could never ruin that. He would suffer in silence, he would carry on.

This did not prove as easy as expected. Remus felt like he was going insane, he hardly ever laughed at Sirius' s jokes anymore he was so uptight. Being around James was nearly impossible because of the toxic mix of guilt and resentment that devoured his soul. The full moon came almost as a relief, as it felt good to become a wild beast and not feel responsible. He didn't even have patience enough for Peter.

 

Apart from the school-related and emotional stress, sixth year was amazing, the lessons were the most interesting so far, and the fascinating subject matter even made the mountain troll-like amount of homework bearable. On top of that, Remus had prefect duties, something he was looking forward to less and less, for even Lily's company was hard to bear now. It was on that snowy December Thursday evening that everything changed.

As always, she was waiting for him in the Great Hall. "Ready, Remus?" She greeted him smiling brightly.  
"Yeah, listen, Astronomy Tower patrol tonight, right? I just have to grab something in my room, meet you there?". Holy hopping hippogriffs, he knew he wasn't able to hold on any longer, and this was his chance, to hell with James, to hell with putting other's interests before his! Lily was always so kind to him, he just wanted to prove to her that he cared about her and appreciated her more than anything. 

Sipping their steaming hot chocolate curled up at the top of the stairwell, the two Gryffindor prefects were deep in a late night conversation about school, friends, life and the universe. Lily had known, or rather, guessed, about his lycanthropy for a few months now, but tonight she apologized again for having confronted him in a bit of a prying way, but he gently assured her that it was all forgotten ( even though the incident regarding Sirius and his dog-like protective instinct was still fresh in his memory). Lily seemed to have followed the same train of thought, for she looked guilty for a few seconds and then shivered. "It does get rather chilly up here, doesn't it?" Lily attempted to resume their casual conversation, when suddenly Remus turned to face her and asked:

"Have you ever been in love, Lily?"  
She hesitated, before answering, and then softly breathed: “No…”  
“Well I have, and I can tell you that it feels like… it’s like… it’s magic. I mean, your heart starts thumping fast just like before a duel, you can feel it spread through your body, a tingly sensation, like Felix Felicis or Streanghthening Solution, it’s more mysterious than Divination, more complicated than Arithmancy or Ancient Runes, it’s amazing, it’s-“  
“Remus, you didn’t let me finish!” Lily interrupted, “I was going to say that I’ve never been in love, before now. Please don't interrupt, it's the only chance I've got, since I know what you're going to do, because that's the kind of absolutly decent human being you are, I just had to tell you, just once".  
Remus was stunned, he even forgot how to breath for a few seconds, or maybe it just wasn't important. The only thing that mattered in the whole universe was Lily Evans and her amazing emerald eyes, that were staring at him intently, or was it hope that he saw? Longing, maybe? It didn't matter, he hardly had time to think about what he was doing and before he could stop himself he was kissing her. It was perfect, it was bliss, and her lips were so soft he thought he might start crying. But then reality dawned on him.  
"I'm sorry Lily, I just can't do that to him" and before the girl could reply he was out the door, but he would always cherish that memory as his most precious. Maybe he even regretted his decision, but if you think about it enough, it makes sense. One thing he would never ever regret was loving her enough to let her go, to let her have the future she deserved, the one she would never have had with him.


End file.
